His Mountains are Steep...

Remi has just started 5th grade and if I'm being honest, it has been hard. School always brings a certain level of anxiety for me. I spend lots of time in prayer during the school year for teachers, accomodations, prespective and the heavy burden Remi has to carry. As his mom, I try to help him carry his burdens, but often I fear I am only seeing the tip of the ice burg when it comes to understanding what his days are like.

Beginning of the year assesments have already begun, and right now Remi is reading at a Kinder-1st grade level. The struggle is real and this journey is nothing short of heartbreaking. I always want to be honest and transparent about our jorney with Dyslexia, because the only way to help others understand and better relate to dyslexic children, is to give them a glimpse into the real life, everyday reality of what it means to affected by dyslexia. 

At almost 11 years old, I am seeing several things going on with my boy. It is becoming more apparent that self control and focus are things he struggles with constantly. He is a mover and a figeter. He has recently told me things like: 

 "Mom, I don't think I have a short-term memory- I can't remember things," 

 or, at bedtime "I wish there was a way to shut my brain off- it won't stop so that I can fall asleep." 

He esepcially struggles with sound and noise, and said this the other day, "Mom, I gross myself out when I eat, because the chewing is so loud." 

This summer, we were driving on the golf cart and we passed a man with his dog. Remi said, "Did ya'll hear that?" Roen and I asked what he was referring to, because we hadn't hear anything. Remi said the man was blowing a whistle, and sure enough, he had a dog whitsle in his mouth that neither Roen or I could hear. His hearing seems to be on overdrive and he is often bothered by certain sounds and the intensity of noises. 

We have tears, a lot of tears. Not fits, but tears of being overwhelmed, feeling stupid, hating school. Remi is at a point where for the first time ever, he hates school. Micah and I feel like we are watching him crumble before our eyes. And so, right now, we are at a fork in the road. 

50% of ADD kiddos also have Dyslexia. Though neither of us have ever been supporters of medicating our children, here we are,  making this hard decision.  

Micah and I are both wondering what will happen to his reading ability if he has a better hold on is focusing ability. He knows the material, but at this point, he is lacking the focus to put it all together in his mind. His comprehension is through the roof and so what reading looks like for him, is listening while I read. If he is listening to a book on audible, following along in the book is extremely hard for him- he says it makes it where he can't understand what he is hearing. Text is a struggle in all forms for him- reading, writing and spelling.   

Medication won't cure his Dyslexia. ADD and Dyslexia are two separate conditions and treated in two separate ways. However, without the proper focus, the treatment for Dyslexia can be ineffective. This is where we are. Will the abilty to have more focus get Remi over this wall he seems to have hit? Or is this wall truly the very esscense of how severe his Dyslexia is? Will medicine strip Remi of who he is? Or will it gift him a whole new school experience that rids him of many of his frustrations? 

What if the medicine makes no difference at all? What do we do then?

In addition to trying medicine, we have ordered Remi the OrCam Read smart pen. We are putting a lot of faith into this little gadget, because what we need right now, is a miracle. Will the combination of the pen and medication do the trick? 

Lots of questions, only guesses at the answers and one exceptional little boy who is needing some intervention.   

5th Grade starts a new chapter where we will explore new ways to help Remi. 

I plan to share along the way, hopefully inspiring you to give the dyslexics in your life a little extra compassion. If you have someone in your life who is dyslexic, the very best gift you could ever give them is your understanding- learn, read, research. 

Remi has a pretty steep mountain ahead of him and he knows it. 

We all know it. 

But I also know that this little boy who dreams of becoming an engineer, working at NASA, and one day being an International Space Station astronaut, won't let a hard climb get in his way.

It's like Micah always says to the boys, "Ain't no hill for a climber."

Remi, my dear, you were born to climb. When you see these mountains, I hope you race up them and when you get to the tip-top, I hope you look out at the view, tilt your head back, breathe in the mountain air and know that the best views always come from the steepest mountains. 

I will never stop advocating, I will never push this under the rug and I will never stop telling you how incredible you are... because I pray the day finally comes that sitting in a classroom doesn't make you question that.