A Game Changer...

This school year, has been pretty incredible for many reasons, but specifically, academically.

Along this difficult journey with the boys, I have learned so much about dyslexia, the struggles, the whys, the silver linings, the community of parents out there facing the same battles, the school system, the experts. I have learned that everyone has their opinion and own versions on what to do with these struggling students. The most important thing I have learned, is that there is no such thing as 'one size fits all' with these kiddos. They are all so different and so unique in their dyslexic tendencies- their talents, along with their struggles.  

And so begins fine tuning- the even more detailed sorting of these kids in this struggling group. Figuring out who needs more work with decoding, as opposed to the child who needs more work with spelling or comprehension. We stick them all in a classroom and leave it up to one teacher to do this in her own time, all the while, expecting her to teach specialized curriculum to 'fix' them all. 

If I'm being honest, the only person truly qualified to do this intense study of evaluating your child's needs compared to what help is out there, and what intervention will be useful to them, is YOU. You, the parent. 

I have come to realize that no matter how many certifications a therapist, doctor or teacher might have, they will never know my child like I do. So, when I get professional advice, when I look at statistics and studies done over these children, it really only serves a springboard for me. I 'take it' and sometimes I 'leave it'.

This is where my story begins...

Over these hard years, there is one piece of advice I am continually given over and over. Advice that I believe hindered and hurt the progress of my boy's education, attitude toward reading and the very spirit of who they are. I believe this so deeply, down to every ounce of my mother intuition, that I 'left it' a long time ago. I took that advice, I threw it out the window, and have come up with a formula that has my boys soaring.

I still remember the September day, sitting in our pediatrician's office, discussing Remi's struggle to thrive in 5th grade. It was on his 11the birthday and we were at our lowest of lows. We were raking the bottom of the barrel for any ounce of hope we could get and we hung on his every word.

"He needs to read to you. every. single. night. 30 minutes. Not just on nights where he feels like it or you have time, but every night before bedtime."  I have had certified therapists tell me this, along with many reading teachers- the key to this 'problem' is more reading. 

So, we did. We opened a chapter book, on his level, but way below his intellectual level, because at that time my 5th grader was barely reading at a 2nd grade level. We pushed through Magic Tree House, we drug him through chapters of Arthur books, we tried I Survived books, hoping these would interest him into more enthusiasm, ending with more fluent reading. 

I sat there night after night, watching him crumble, watching him end his already torturous day with the grueling task of more torture, I watched him internalize the feelings of failing us and himself as he struggled along the pages of books he had no desire to read. I watched him be slapped in the face with humiliation that he could not even read the books that his little cousins could. I watched him wrap himself in shame.

At some point, I realized that this was not the way. It wasn't helping AT ALL and I soon realized that it was MY CHOICE to decide how I would intervene at home. So, out loud reading at bedtime was abandoned and I discovered one of our most valuable tools in our belt...

Audiobooks!

I subscribed to Audible, for the first time ever, I completely disregarded the reading level, and I bought books that I knew Remi would love. And THIS, this is where our journey took a fork in the road. He started devouring books like Hatchet, Summer of the Monkeys, Where the Red Fern Grows. Books grades and grades above his reading level, just as fast as he could, listening, loving, acing the tests, one after another. 

The magic key we found is what I like to call 'reading with your ears.' Much the same as a blind person would read with braille, Remi uses one of his strongest senses to process information. Against what I have also been advised, I do not push him to follow along with text. No, I let that little mind soak up the story and be swept away in the words that no longer have the power to haunt him. 

This year, I started Roen on this same path and he too, is thriving with his love for reading. Both boys set a personal goal for themselves to read and test/pass every single Bluebonnet Book this year. There are 20 total Bluebonnet books and as of today, Remi has read 19 and Roen has read 17. 

As the boys have gotten closer to their goal, something else extraordinary is starting bloom... 

The boys have now gotten to where they like sharing the stories they read with me. Meaningful parts, parts they loved, parts that made them sad and parts that taught them something. This has lead to them saying things like 'Mom, I really want you to read this book. You would love it. Be prepared, it will probably make you cry, but it will also make you laugh." And so now, we pass our books around to each other, sharing our favorite parts, asking questions, predicting what happens next, and just like that, this hurdle has become gift. 

I like to think of this as our very own secret bookclub. A bookclub where adults and kids can read the same literature, where we can't wait for each other to get to the 'good part', where we end our day with Remi saying "Did it make you cry, Mom? Did you laugh when they found Benny?" instead of tears of insecurity streaming down his face.

This journey is hard, it is full of trial and error, but in its own way, it is magical too. My little square pegs will never be suited for the round holes they are often shoved into, they will never march to the beat of everyone's else's drum, but, together, we are making new paths, we are finding ourselves in the fresh air of creative learning and we are soaring at heights we never thought possible.

We are finding beauty in straying from the well-beaten over to where the wildflowers grow...